Wow, I have not posted -anything- in foreeeeveeeer! But the very idea of goin through all the pictures I've taken in the past year to see if there is anything of decent quality is daunting. Hmm, what to do what to do.
School started again, I could definitely see I was slipping back into that funk I was in last year. Gah, it's so annoying. That feeling of just not being happy and knowing it has to do with the start of school and not being able to do anything about it because you know in a month or so it'll pass.
Is change really that hard for me to handle? Or is it just school is hard to handle. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I can feel that urge to go out with friends and drink more but also that urge to just not do anything with anyone. Though there is definitely one person here excluded from that. It's kind of weird. I mean I'm glad I have her but I don't understand why she's the only one I enjoy seeing sometimes. The only person I'd lunge out of bed to hang out with. I suppose she's just that cool, lol.
She was talking to me today about how she doesn't understand why she gets so angry so quickly sometimes. And how it's only towards the people she cares about, it's always over something trivial, and that it seems it's somehow connected to how those people she argues with seem weaker to her than herself.
Of those people I am not one, and we mused about that. She couldn't quite explain why she doesn't get mad at me. Something about how I just say stuff and that's it. I think she may have meant that I don't over-talk. I just say what I mean to say and that's it. I don't try to justify it because I don't feel I need to. That and I think it's also because I'm really mellow. I don't get angry but when I do it doesn't last very long at all, hour tops, really. Or I'm only angry when I talk about the thing I'm angry at but once I stop talking about it I move on.
So it's weird. I move on emotionally quite quickly but when it comes to changes in life (routine?) I'm not fully equipped to handle it. Odd. Odd. Odd.
I'm hitting the 22 marker next weekend. That just feels weird. I will officially be past all the truly positive markers age-wise, I hit the teen years, I gained the ability to drive, to vote, to drink and now there's just the markers of time gone past; 30 years gone by since I was born, 40, 50 60, 70, 75 three-quarters of a century gone by, provided I live that long.
Okay so, one of these days soon, I swear, even if it is only for my own benefit, I will put some stuff up! *puts on determined face*